The personal blog of a not-so-typical half English/ Egyptian girl in her 20's rambling about her life, friends and everything else. Don't read if you can't handle her dark sense of humor or moodiness.

Monday, December 25, 2006

I'm in Alex. Have been here for the last 3 days or so. I'm fine, but I have a bad cold that's starting to wear off. My uncles live here and we figured it'd be cool to stay here for a while and enjoy the eid. I don't have a job at the moment so I might as well enjoy my time off :)

We were supposed to go out today, but it's cold. But it's still warmer than Cairo, anyway.

Tomorrow, I'll probably go out with some friends.

Now to something else. A friend of mine came to see me today. She's a very sweet girl. Anyway, I love her looks and her unique personality. And we do have much in common.

She just told me that she met a guy online weeks ago. He seemed nice and all. But then things started getting more personal. They both started liking one another, realizing they had much in common. She gave me many examples and truly, they sounded so alike and I'd say they would have been in sync.

He told her he was falling in love with her and that he was single. He told her she was the girl of his dreams and more than anything, he wanted to see her. They started to phone one another. This went on for like two weeks. And they got really close.

But then she sensed something fishy. Now, my friend is rather psychic as I like to call her.

Anyway, she started ignoring him online and wouldn't take his calls. He started going nuts. Actually, I think he was crazy about her and still is.

Then she emailed him and swore that if she ever found out he hadn't been 100% honest with her, she would never ever talk to him again. He sort of freaked out. After much pressure, he finally told her he was actually...


Oh my God! I didn't know what to say. She must be really strong to go through all of this alone as she'd not told anyone but me about this and already 4 or 5 weeks had passed. She loved him. She told me that. She told me he really broke her heart. She started describing to me the kind of pain she felt and I almost cried cos I've been there. I know what heartbreak is.

Now that's not the end of our little story here. He had the nerve to ask her if she wanted to be his girl friend! He told her he couldn't live without her. Of course, she said no and told him all she wanted him to hear in an email which he so deserved, by the way.

He called her later crying, but she didn't give in.

I admire her courage and her dignity. And of course, her choice.

And to all you girls online "Be careful!"

I can't totally refuse the idea of meeting someone online. One of my very close friends met her husband online and they are soul mates masha2Allah. But it's just a tiny possibility.

Anyway, I have another story, but I'll write again later.

Friday, December 22, 2006

OK, seriously and honestly, have you ever known a lesbian woman/girl? I know this may come as a shock to some of you, but I had to ask. This post is not for the weak-hearted and to tell you the truth, I never thought I'd be blogging about something like this!

A friend of mine called me days ago. She sounded upset. She said she needed to talk. We agreed to meet a couple of hours later for coffee. And let me call her N.

Here's how it went:

N: I've been feeling weird. I'm miserable.
Me: Why so?
N: I don't know if I should tell you, but I actually phoned you to tell you.
Me: ?????
N: I think you're not being a typical Egyptian, might make you understand this better than anybody else.
Me: ???
N: Promise you won't laugh at me or embarrass me before anyone else?
Me: (I'm sensing something bad) What do you mean?
N: Just promise.
Me: OK, I do.
N: Well, I'm a ....
Me: (I thought she'd say something about not being a virgin anymore or something and I didn't know what how to react then)
N: I'm a lesbian (almost whispering)
Me: WHAT???? (shouting)
N: What? You promised you wouldn't laugh at or ridicule me!! (upset)
Me: OK, N. Fine. I won't (shocked and fuming while thinking WHY ME WHY ME?)
N: So?
Me: Eih?
N: What should I do?
Me: How the he** would I know, N?

N starts to cry. Great. Another public scene.

Ten minutes later.

Me: Does your family know?
N: NO tab3an!! (laughs)
Me: I still don't get it!! Why?
N: It just happened. I realized I never liked guys.
Me: Let me get one thing straight. You think you like girls or you already done-
N: (cutting me short) I have had sex with other girl, yes!
Me: 0_0
N: Malek ya benty?
Me: You know I'm not a lesbian nor have any thoughts about switching teams ever? (I thought she might start hittin on me or whatever and yes, I got scared!!)
N: (laugh so hard) Aiwa, I know. You're so pretty and all, but it's apparent you're stupidly into guys.
Me: (laughing like an idiot) Me so pretty? Thanks.
N: So what should I do?
Me: I have NO idea, but your secret is safe.
N: Don't you know other lesbian girls?
Me: NO tab3an!
N: Even if you did, they wouldn't tell you. It's not common nowadays. We are still not accepted. In the future, may be. I bet you have other female friends who are lesbians but never say it!
Me: (OMG!!) You make me feel like you belong to some secret organization, N. Besides, I feel I have to tell you it's against our religion totally and this is one of the worst sins ever.
N: I don't need your fu****g opinion.
N: I don't have a girl friend so of course, I'm sad.

And then she told me something else that almost made me throw up but I can't write it here. And I've been tense ever since that talk. I don't think I want to talk to her again. She made me feel uncomfortable. She was checking out other girls when I was with her, for God's sake! It's all very confusing for me. She's really pretty and innocent-looking, so why?? She's never lived outside Egypt, so where did her thoughts come from?

Any advice, PLEASE?

Sunday, December 10, 2006

I'm really *mad*. After writing a long post here last night for a whole ONE HOUR, I lost into cyber space. When I clicked "publish" something wrong happened and my entry was lost forever.

So, here I am again trying to re-post what I did last night.

I loved my trip to London. As a matter of fact, I'm seriously thinking of settling there soon. It's lovely (really cold though). There's so much to see and do there.

And of course I took some wonderful pics there but lost my digital camera on the way here which really upset me.

I went to some amazing places:

Chinatown London

Covent Garden Market (mom insisted on going there)

Hampton Court Palace (OMG! I felt I was in some royal movie there. It must feel so good to be a princess/queen :) I didn't want to leave EVER)

Tea Palace (for some afternoon tea. Tea time is sacred for the English.)

Porchetta (great pizza!)

Harrods (of course, where else would I go shopping? We were there for hours)

Windsor Castle

Sherlock Holmes Museum

Kensington Gardens

Why don't we have parks and gardens like that here in Egypt? Where could one go unwind and relax? The pollution here is unbearable cos my allergy is back again. I had no allergy or sinus there! We have the lovely Nile here, but just look at its color. The color of bitter death.

Anyway, of course so much happened there and I'll try to blog about it all. Granny was super nice. I enjoyed talking with her.

And so much happened when I got here. I got this email from an American friend of mine 2 days ago. Let me quote a paragraph she wrote:

"I'm thinking about going to Egypt soon. Our gov. here has been warning us. They say we, women, shouldn't walk alone on the streets or in crowded places. Sexual harressments/assaults are normal in Egypt nowadays as I've heard. How do you protect yourself there, dear?"

Me? No comment.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

And I'm back. Will blog soon.