The personal blog of a not-so-typical half English/ Egyptian girl in her 20's rambling about her life, friends and everything else. Don't read if you can't handle her dark sense of humor or moodiness.

Friday, December 22, 2006

OK, seriously and honestly, have you ever known a lesbian woman/girl? I know this may come as a shock to some of you, but I had to ask. This post is not for the weak-hearted and to tell you the truth, I never thought I'd be blogging about something like this!

A friend of mine called me days ago. She sounded upset. She said she needed to talk. We agreed to meet a couple of hours later for coffee. And let me call her N.

Here's how it went:

N: I've been feeling weird. I'm miserable.
Me: Why so?
N: I don't know if I should tell you, but I actually phoned you to tell you.
Me: ?????
N: I think you're not being a typical Egyptian, might make you understand this better than anybody else.
Me: ???
N: Promise you won't laugh at me or embarrass me before anyone else?
Me: (I'm sensing something bad) What do you mean?
N: Just promise.
Me: OK, I do.
N: Well, I'm a ....
Me: (I thought she'd say something about not being a virgin anymore or something and I didn't know what how to react then)
N: I'm a lesbian (almost whispering)
Me: WHAT???? (shouting)
N: What? You promised you wouldn't laugh at or ridicule me!! (upset)
Me: OK, N. Fine. I won't (shocked and fuming while thinking WHY ME WHY ME?)
N: So?
Me: Eih?
N: What should I do?
Me: How the he** would I know, N?

N starts to cry. Great. Another public scene.

Ten minutes later.

Me: Does your family know?
N: NO tab3an!! (laughs)
Me: I still don't get it!! Why?
N: It just happened. I realized I never liked guys.
Me: Let me get one thing straight. You think you like girls or you already done-
N: (cutting me short) I have had sex with other girl, yes!
Me: 0_0
N: Malek ya benty?
Me: You know I'm not a lesbian nor have any thoughts about switching teams ever? (I thought she might start hittin on me or whatever and yes, I got scared!!)
N: (laugh so hard) Aiwa, I know. You're so pretty and all, but it's apparent you're stupidly into guys.
Me: (laughing like an idiot) Me so pretty? Thanks.
N: So what should I do?
Me: I have NO idea, but your secret is safe.
N: Don't you know other lesbian girls?
Me: NO tab3an!
N: Even if you did, they wouldn't tell you. It's not common nowadays. We are still not accepted. In the future, may be. I bet you have other female friends who are lesbians but never say it!
Me: (OMG!!) You make me feel like you belong to some secret organization, N. Besides, I feel I have to tell you it's against our religion totally and this is one of the worst sins ever.
N: I don't need your fu****g opinion.
Me: FINE!
N: I don't have a girl friend so of course, I'm sad.

And then she told me something else that almost made me throw up but I can't write it here. And I've been tense ever since that talk. I don't think I want to talk to her again. She made me feel uncomfortable. She was checking out other girls when I was with her, for God's sake! It's all very confusing for me. She's really pretty and innocent-looking, so why?? She's never lived outside Egypt, so where did her thoughts come from?

Any advice, PLEASE?

5 comments:

Sou said...

I remember the day a girl at university told me she was a lesbian. I felt so uncomfortable.

Strange thing is, I feel less awkward around gay men than I do lesbians. I think it's because I know for a fact that gay men won't hit on me. Mesh 3arfa. :/

Well...I don't think there's a 'why' to the way your friend is. I don't even think it has anything to do with the fact if she lived abroad wala la2. I also can't say these things 'just' happen; maybe they do, maybe they don't.

Coconut said...

many lesbians exist in egypt, it's not the simple assumption they should go abroad to experience such a thing or know it.
i knew an egyptin lesbian who has never been abroad, after breaking the friendship with her,for other many reasons than being lesbian, i saw her wearing very religious outfit " isdal".I don't know if she's still lesbian or no.
from wht u said, the girl till now doesnt hit on u,she seeks advice or support for somethg she can't talk about with others & that's why she chose u" for not being typical", she's confused & needs some assurance or recognition.
I guess, since she doesnt harm u by anymeans, u shouldn't leave her if she's a good friend,let aside her sexual tendencies as it's nt ur business.may be ur surprised ,but imagine you've a good male friend who's a womanizer or cheating on his wife.take it easy unless she starts hittin on u ;)or press on ur religious beliefs

KareemFromEgypt said...

actually i have a lesbian friend, so i guess it's safe to say it's more common than people thought it was, since it's 4 out of 4 commenters who have had that encounter (including you mystery)

but i guess that makes me the first male commenter to have that experience.

it doesn't bother me that she is, i'm not saying i agree with people being homosexuals, i believe they are missing out on a lot :)

if you don't feel like seeing her again or talking to her that's your call, but try to put yourself in her shoes, it's gotta be really tough to come out like that, right?

my lesbian friend is also purely egyptian and she never lived abroad, plus i don't think this has to with western thinking, obviously some people are wired that way or more prone to think that way, doesn't mean you have to accept them or anything.

i'm not sure how i would feel if it was a gay male friend though

anyway, enough with the long comment, talk to you later

Mystery said...

Sou: I currently don't know any gay men so thank God for that though I feel it's much less awkward than dealing with a lesbian female.

I had a teacher once who was guy and I was 17 at the time. Of course, he never told us so, but we found out. He was American or something like that. I figured it was the guys' problems, not girls' at all.

Raghooda: Wallahi teb2a mo6eeba if she's wearing "niqab" or "isdal" and she's a lesbian. My explanation in that case would be she doesn't want to raise suspicions, but she should have much more respect for her religion since she chose to divert away from it!

I appreciate my L friend telling me but the thing is I can't support or encourage her or whatever as I'm against the idea itself. I don't get it. I don't get it at all! I can't imagine her kissing another girl or whatever and these images rush to my head when I see her and I feel like I want to throw up!

I tried talking to her again today. I told her falling in love with someone (a man tab3an) who loves her back is such a wonderful thing. And later having kids with him. I mean I feel like a woman-woman lesbian or sexual relationship or what the heck they call it is based solely on SEX. I don't think our minds and souls are conditioned to love the same sex. I think in that case they want pleasure. But that's my opinion anyway.

Kareem: Missing out on a lot. I agree. Yes, it must be tough for her ya Kareem, but I feel so uncomfortable around her. There are other things but I can't mention everything here.

Yes, if you wanna imagine how I feel, imagine having a gay male friend. Huh!

Hey and post all the long comments you want here :)

Actually I thought I'd read more comments here, but I feel other people are intimidated by the subject. Whatever.

grey said...

i don't have much to add here, as i don't have any gay friends that i know of (boy or girl).

but i just wanted to tell you that she did trust you enough to tell you in the first place, don't let that trust go away by treating her differently now that you know she's gay.

maybe (hopefully) it's a phase she's passing through and she'll return to normal soon..sometimes that happens by the way.